This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
