His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
