My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
