Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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