i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
