I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
