i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
