I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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