i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
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Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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