Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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