everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
