I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
