4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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