Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
