I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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