Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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