You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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