even my farts smell like vagina
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
