Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
