Sry I called you an 8
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I will pee on everything he values.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Randomize
