if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
