brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.