If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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