I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
