He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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