I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
FUCK WHALES
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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