I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
