he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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