just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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