How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
