My first STD was from a foam party
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i would punch a child for taco bell
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
