He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
this is an emotional support booty call
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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