I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
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NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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