People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
