did you get engaged???
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
two words: eviction party
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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