You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
