so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
