Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary