i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
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My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
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We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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