Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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