My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
