Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
