fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
