If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
