That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
