what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
