Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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