I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Randomize
