How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize