jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize