They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He did a backflip because drugs
The air taste purple.
Randomize
