If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
