SEEEEXXX PLEASE
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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