My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
