I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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