Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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