Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
