Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
