Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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