Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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