She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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