i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
