If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You are the jesus of drinking
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
