no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
