I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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