I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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