I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
