My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
