I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
